


Take Him for a Ride

by banbanabas



Series: Hit On All Sixes [1]
Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Alphyne, Alphynecentric, Alternate Universe - 1920s, Alternate Universe - Humantale, Established Relationship, F/F, Guns, Human AU, Implied Torture, Knives, Mafia AU, Mobster AU, also makeouts, also warning for language, alternate title: gays with guns, basically the 1920s except nobody is homophobic, hahaaaa
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-28
Updated: 2016-03-28
Packaged: 2018-05-29 14:48:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 859
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6380563
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/banbanabas/pseuds/banbanabas
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU Description: "so what if we took the purest, dorkiest, most adorable vanilla ship in the entire world… and made them hardboiled rogues in 1920s New York with semi automatic machine guns and lipstick"</p><p>Summary: Alphys and Undyne have no time for eavesdropping fools.</p><p>(Part One.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Take Him for a Ride

**Author's Note:**

> Author's Note from Adena: this is a collaboration that blossomed out of au headcanon shenanigans with my good friend @fishlizardweeb and this hUGE MULTICHAPTER FANFIC JUST HAPPENED out of nowhere haaha good times. pls enjoy this product of us gaying it up with memes and whatnot, it’s truly a labor of love
> 
> Author's Note from Ban: ALL OF THE ABOVE you can all thank @flowerats for this fic happening bc without her, i never would have realized how much fun it would be >:3
> 
> ENJOY

In a cold, dark room, a light shone blindingly into the eyes of a nervous, scruffy man tied to a battered, wooden chair. Two shadowy figures loomed over him. As he strained against  his bindings, they stalked close enough for him to see: The first woman, a redhead in a pristine suit, stood a full head taller than the blonde beside her. He squinted at their faces and was met with a devilish leer from the redhead and a knowing glare from the blonde. His blood ran cold.

"You thought you could tail us, huh?" the taller woman growled, tapping her Thompson's muzzle against the man’s knee. A line of sweat formed on his brow. "We know who you work for, and if he’s tryin’ to take us down, he’s gonna have to try a little harder than... this,” she said with a dismissive wave in his direction.

He flushed beet red with anger. "You're a couple ‘a liars! Cheats!" he shouted, struggling against the ropes. "And you’re gonna get what’s comin’ to you! You got no idea who you’re dealin’ with, gettin’ in our way and stealin’ our shit--"

"So? You stole from us," interrupted the stout blonde. "Information counts as stolen property, you know. Aren't there, ah, some laws against that?"

The man sputtered. "Are you fucking nuts? Since when do _you_ care about the law?"

The blonde swaggered past her partner, hooking a thumb at the base of her suspenders. "Always have. But I have to admit, heh, I’m a little choosy about the ones I follow. Wanna know which? Undyne, what’d’ya say we teach him the laws of… Thermodynamics?" she crooned, trailing her fingers along the gun barrel with a smirk.

His eyes bulged. Panicking, he shouted, "What? No! No, you... God, she doesn't even _know_ that shit, Alphys! That's all you!" He craned his neck to look up at her. Hell, she was short, but as long as he was tied to a damn chair, she easily towered over him.  "You don't need Undyne! She’s just weighing you down!"

He watched Undyne's eyes flicker to Alphys, her grip tightening on the gun, and spat, "And you sure can't trust _her_ , Undyne! One day she’s on your side, and the next she’s slitting your throat in your sleep! I know you’ve seen it!"

Undyne flared her nostrils. "You know, jackass, maybe you should shut your fucking mouth. And..." she growled. "Alphys..." In the blink of an eye, she had the gun aimed at the shorter woman. "Maybe _you_ should put your hands up."

Alphys blanched at the muzzle in her face. "Wh-what?"

Undyne stepped close enough to loom over her. "I said, ‘Put. Your hands. Up.’"

None of them dared move. Alphys's eyes flickered between the weapon and its bearer, who stood unbelievably still with a sick, shark-toothed grin. The third of the room's occupants held his breath while he waited for the spray of gunfire.

But it never came. Instead, Undyne snickered, lowered the gun to the man's head, and pressed her lips against Alphys’s with a deep, drawn-out moan.

Alphys melted against her instantly. Her hands drifted to the taller woman's hips to pull her body flush against hers, but not before Alphys wedged a leg between Undyne's and hiked it upward just enough to make Undyne gasp against her mouth, and, boy, did the blonde cherish that.

Barely an arm’s length away, their captive audience was not cherishing much of anything. He especially was not cherishing the steel cylinder digging into his cheek--it had been at his temple, but Undyne couldn't seem to keep her arm steady while Alphys was... Doing her thing.

"Oh, my bad," Undyne said breathily when they finally pulled apart. "I meant to say, 'put your hands up my shirt.' 'Cause that's hot, and also there's a fun knife in my bra I’d like you to grab. I think it’s time we had some fun with this guy."

Alphys cackled her high-pitched, nasally laugh, followed by a whispered “Sure thing, babe” and a searching hand trailing beneath Undyne’s waistcoat.  After pausing to peck Undyne on the cheek, Alphys sneered at the dumbfounded man, “Idiot. You think I would turn on my hot fucking girlfriend because _your_ pathetic ass said to?” Alphys rolled her eyes. “Yeah, right.”

Undyne pressed the Thompson a little harder into his cheek, smugly raising an eyebrow. “He’s telling you to turn me on? Mmm, spicy.”

Alphys snorted. “Heh, in that case, he and I see eye to eye on one thing,” she murmured, deftly unbuttoning Undyne’s shirt and slipping a hand inside. Undyne hummed contentedly at the sensation of fingers brushing the skin right below her bust. Alphys cupped her face with her free hand, kissed her briefly, and then turned to glare at their hostage. “But that’s not important. He’s still a fucking snitch.” Without breaking eye contact, she revealed a wickedly curved blade and passed it to her lover.

The man didn’t say anything to defend himself; in fact, he didn’t do much but sit there and sweat. He already knew he was going to have a very, very bad time.

**Author's Note:**

> ahhhh! my dudes, there's some art of this au, too! check these treasures out omfg:
> 
> adena's au alphyne designs: http://flowerats . tumblr . com/post/141814881614/so-like-i-said-au-shenanigans
> 
> adena's comic of an earlier draft: http://flowerats . tumblr . com/post/142143829864/so-before-we-post-the-next-part-i-figured-id
> 
> @cattusinhortum's comic of the smoochin' scene: http://cattusinhortum . tumblr . com/post/142073840789/my-part-of-an-art-trade-with-flowerats-she
> 
> *cherishing these like hECK*


End file.
